Nice Guys™

About

Nice Guys™ (also referred to as the Nice Guy Syndrome) is a pejorative term referring to a social stereotype commonly associated with young adult males who view themselves as prototypical “nice guys,” while in reality their claims are hypocrite and their only motivation for acting nice is expecting a relationship or sexual favors in return. On the internet, Nice Guys™ are common targets of mock and are often characterized as past victims of the friend zone. The term is intentionally written with a trademark symbol to distinguish them from regular nice people.

Origin

In early 2002, the website Heartless Bitches International published several pieces on the concept of the Nice Guy.^[1] The sections delved into the common character traits of Nice Guys, what makes them undesirable to women, and tips on how they can make themselves more desirable. The sections were particularly critical towards self-professed Nice Guys whose “nice” behavior they saw as hypocrisy, emphasizing on stating that the Nice Guys themselves are the problem.

Nice Guy Phenomenon

Various studies^[15] have shown that women associate different qualities with the “nice guy” and “jerk” labels, showing that women at times have a more positive look towards the “jerk” label than “nice guys” and may prefer the prior option for a relationship. Similarly, many dating advice columns and pickup artists argue that being too meek or “nice” is a common reason for why guys get in the friend zone.

Spread

Definitions and explanations for Nice Guys™ can be found on various websites and feminist blogs. The Geek Feminism Wikia covers a large list about Nice Guys™,^[2] explaining their personality and criticising their way of thinking. An article about Nice Guys™ also reaches the top post position on the feminist Wordpress Matingselfishness.^[4] On TvTropes, Nice Guys™ are explained through an article titled “Entitled To Have You.”^[7] On Urban Dictionary, over 80 definitions exist for “nice guy”,^[5] with the earliest definition,^[3] defining it as “always finishes last,”^[18] dating back to August 3rd, 2003. Most of these definitions are written from the perspective of a Nice Guy™, using common excuses by Nice Guys™ for not getting a girlfriend in the definition, such as the claim that “women always go for jerks.”

The whole ‘nice guy’ phenomenon really supports the idea that people primarily care about physical appearances and that shrewdness, selfishness and narcissism will always triumph over compassion, rapport and “inner beauty.”^[6]

On May 31st, 2011, Youtube celebrity Nigahiga released a music video titled “Nice Guys”, based on the commonly used cynical phrase “nice guys finish last.”^[18] The video features two males who decide to act rude and antisocial towards females on advice in an attempt to get closer to them, only to eventually discover it’s better to show affectionate behavior to avoid being hated. As of January 2014, the video has gained over 51 million views and upwards of 476,000 likes.

On October 2nd, 2011, the Facebook page TheKillerTruth^[16] posted an image (shown below) showing a text message towards women from a self-professed “Good Guy” stating that women are oblivious towards the good guys in their close surroundings and instead date others. As of January 2014, the post received over 38,000 likes and upwards of 8,500 shares. The image was criticised by the feminist blog Feministing^[17] a week later, stating it matches the image of a fake nice guy and not a genuine nice guy.

On December 16th, 2012, the “‘Nice Guys’ of OKCupid” Tumblr^[8] was launched, exposing the hypocrisy behind some of the self-professed “nice guys” of the free dating website OKCupid by juxtaposing their profile photos with contradictory and sometimes even misogynistic statements found in their self-descriptions (shown below). From December 19th to December 21st of the same year, the blog was featured on the women’s interest blog Jezebel,^[9] feminist blogs Feministing^[10] and NY Mag,^[11] The Huff Post For Women subsection of The Huffington Post,^[14] internet humor site BuzzFeed^[12] and relationship website The Frisky.^[13]

Related Term: White Knight

White Knight (also known as Internet White Knight) is a pejorative term used to describe men who defend women on the internet with the assumption that they are looking for a romantic reward in return. The term is derived from the knight-errant stock character, a medieval figure in romance literature that would perform various acts to prove his chivalry. They are often criticised in similar ways as Nice Guys™.