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About
I Sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter is a copypasta about a male who dreams to be a helicopter. that parodies absurd gender and sexual identification often found on pages like Tumblr, featuring references to social justice like check your privilege.
Origin
This copypasta was originally written by TF2 user Guuse[1] in 2014 on March 17th, which was added to his pastebin[2]
I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I’m fucking retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me “Apache” and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can’t accept me you’re a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
Guuse originally wrote it to spam it using binds in chats whilst playing after an argument about gender identity politics.
Note the video comment “props to Guuse for his amazing writing skills”. Dated March 21st as the earliest time on the internet. Uploader is a friend of the original writer.
Guuse posted this in December:
http://etf2l.org/recruitment/201940/
Spread
After the original stream, the copypasta was submitted to /r/sidehugs [3] and /r/copypasta [4] on reddit. on various live streams, as well as 4chan. It can now be seen attributed to youtube comments and various chans, variations continue to be created.
On May 18, 2014, a definition titled “helisexual” was submitted on Urban Dictionary[5], featuring multiple references to the original copypasta