Sorority Girl's E-Mail Rant

Overview

Sorority Girl’s E-Mail Rant was an e-mail sent by University of Maryland student Rebecca Martinson to her fellow Delta Gamma sorority sisters, in which she berates them for being “boring” and “awkward." The e-mail was subsequently leaked online and reblogged via internet news sites, even inspiring the creation of celebrity dramatic readings.

Background

On April 18th, 2013, Gawker^[1] published the transcript of an email that was forwarded from an anonymous tipster and originally addressed to the University of Maryland chapter of the Delta Gamma sorority (shown below). Written by a senior member of the club, the e-mail scolded sorority sisters’ behavior at recent events, threatening them with violence if they did not improve their social skills with members of the brother fraternity Sigma Nu. Within five days, the article received over 420,000 views and 2,600 comments.

If you just opened this like I told you to, tie yourself down to whatever chair you’re sitting in, because this email is going to be a rough fucking ride.
For those of you that have your heads stuck under rocks, which apparently is the majority of this chapter, we have been FUCKING UP in terms of night time events and general social interactions with Sigma Nu. I’ve been getting texts on texts about people LITERALLY being so fucking AWKWARD and so fucking BORING. If you’re reading this right now and saying to yourself “But oh em gee Julia, I’ve been having so much fun with my sisters this week!”, then punch yourself in the face right now so that I don’t have to fucking find you on campus to do it myself.

I do not give a flying fuck, and Sigma Nu does not give a flying fuck, about how much you fucking love to talk to your sisters. You have 361 days out of the fucking year to talk to sisters, and this week is NOT, I fucking repeat NOTONE OF THEM. This week is about fostering relationships in the greek community, and that’s not fucking possible if you’re going to stand around and talk to each other and not our matchup. Newsflash you stupid cocks: FRATS DON’T LIKEBORINGSORORITIES. Oh wait, DOUBLEFUCKINGNEWSFLASH: SIGMA NU IS NOTGOING TO WANT TO HANGOUTWITH US IF WE FUCKINGSUCK, which by the way in case you’re an idiot and need it spelled out for you, WE FUCKINGSUCK SO FAR. This also applies to you little shits that have talked openly about post gaming at a different frat IN FRONT OF SIGMA NU BROTHERS. Are you people fucking retarded? That’s not a rhetorical question, I LITERALLY want you to email me back telling me if you’re mentally slow so I can make sure you don’t go to anymore night time events. If Sigma Nu openly said “Yeah we’re gonna invite Zeta over”, would you be happy? WOULDYOU? No you wouldn’t, so WHYTHEFUCKWOULDYOU DO IT TO THEM?? IN FRONT OF THEM?!! First of all, you SHOULDN’T be post gaming at other frats, I don’t give a FUCK if your boyfriend is in it, if your brother is in it, or if your entire family is in that frat. YOU DON’T GO. YOU. DON’T. GO. And you ESPECIALLY do fucking NOT convince other girls to leave with you.

“But Julia!”, you say in a whiny little bitch voice to your computer screen as you read this email, “I’ve been cheering on our teams at all the sports, doesn’t that count for something?” NO YOUSTUPIDFUCKINGASSHATS, IT FUCKING DOESN’T. DO YOUWANNAKNOWFUCKINGWHY?!! IT DOESN’T COUNTBECAUSE YOU’VE BEENFUCKING UP AT SOBERFUCKINGEVENTSTOO. I’ve not only gotten texts about people being fucking WEIRD at sports (for example, being stupid shits and saying stuff like “durr what’s kickball?” is not fucking funny), but I’ve gotten texts about people actually cheering for the opposing team. The opposing. Fucking. Team. AREYOUFUCKINGSTUPID?!! I don’t give a SHIT about sportsmanship, YOUCHEERFOROURGODDAMNTEAMANDNOTTHEOTHERONE, HAVEYOUNEVERBEEN TO A SPORTSGAME? AREYOUFUCKINGBLIND? Or are you just so fucking dense about what it means to make people like you that you think being a good little supporter of the greek community is going to make our matchup happy? Well it’s time someone told you, NO ONEFUCKINGLIKESTHAT, ESPECIALLYOURFUCKINGMATCHUP. I will fucking cunt punt the next person I hear about doing something like that, and I don’t give a fuck if you SOR me, I WILLFUCKINGASSAULTYOU.

“Ohhh Julia, I’m now crying because your email has made me oh so so sad”. Well good. If this email applies to you in any way, meaning if you are a little asswipe that stands in the corners at night or if you’re a weird shit that does weird shit during the day, this following message is for you:

DO NOT GO TO TONIGHT’S EVENT.

I’m not fucking kidding. Don’t go. Seriously, if you have done ANYTHING I’ve mentioned in this email and have some rare disease where you’re unable to NOT do these things, then you are HORRIBLE, I repeat, HORRIBLE PR FORTHISCHAPTER. I would rather have 40 girls that are fun, talk to boys, and not fucking awkward than 80 that are fucking faggots. If you are one of the people that have told me “Oh nooo boo hoo I can’t talk to boys I’m too sober”, then I pity you because I don’t know how you got this far in life, and with that in mind don’t fucking show up unless you’re going to stop being a goddamn cock block for our chapter. Seriously. I swear to fucking God if I see anyone being a goddamn boner at tonight’s event, I will tell you to leave even if you’re sober. I’m not even kidding. Try me.

And for those of you who are offended at this email, I would apologize but I really don’t give a fuck. Go fuck yourself.

Notable Developments

Delta Gamma’s Response

The same day, Gawker updated the post with a follow-up e-mail sent from the Delta Gamma chapter president, who asked for the website to remove the offending e-mail or the names “Delta Gamma” and “Sigma Nu.”

“My name is [redacted] and I am the current president of Delta Gamma at the University of Maryland. It has been brought to my attention that you recently published an unsavory email that was sent out over my chapter’s list-serve. Is it possible for you to either remove the article or just remove the names “Delta Gamma” and “Sigma Nu” from your article? This email absolutely does not reflect our chapter’s values nor Sigma Nu’s and any assistance you can give us is greatly appreciated."

Identity Revealed

The same day the e-mail was leaked on Gawker, the author of the e-mail was identified as University of Maryland student Rebecca Martinson. Photographs of Martinson were subsequently posted on the Total Frat Move Forums^[2] (shown below), where members discussed her attractiveness and speculated about her sexual interests.

In the coming days, screenshots from her now-deleted Twitter^[6] feed (shown below) began circulating on various news sites, including Scallywag And Vagabond,^[3] The Frisky,^[4] Bro Bible^[5] and Jezebel.^[7]

Dramatic Readings

On April 18th, 2013, the Pophangover YouTube channel uploaded a video in which actress Alison Haislip performs a dramatic reading of the email (shown below, left), which received over 268,000 views and 600 comments in the next five days. On April 22nd, Funny or Die released a dramatic reading by actor Michael Shannon (shown below, right), gaining more than 27,000 up votes and 71,000 Facebook likes within the first 24 hours.

Punishment

On April 22nd, the Delta Gamma sorority president Laurie Petrucce Roselle issued a statement via Facebook^[8] announcing that Martinson will be reprimanded for her “inappropriate” and “profanity-laced” e-mail.

We want to make it clear that this letter in no way reflects the values of Delta Gamma as an International Fraternity or our chapter at the University of Maryland. The processes by which Delta Gamma handles member discipline are confidential, but we have a team of women working with the chapter to take all appropriate action including protecting, educating and supporting the chapter members in the aftermath of this event.